twoemu.com

Here is something that I came across. A friend (Marty) shared it with one of his friends on facebook. A little shocking, but kinda funny in a dark humour sorta way …. enjoy Spider - Future Shots, Youtube clip.

A friend posted something in facebook about urbandictionary.com & suggested that people do a search for their first name & take notice of the first definition, so I did. For a full list of results click here to see all the definitions for Eva. Otherwise here are some highlights

1. Hot International Girl, International Hotness, Hot Foreign Girl, Exotic Spaniard, Hot Spanish Girl, etc…

** Not sure that living in another country other than your country of birth, even though it is not Spain really counts for this one **

2. A girl, woman, female, bitch (etc) that has a short temper, and or likes to cause violence, and or does not take shit from anybody.

** I agree with I don’t take shit from anybody, I figure if your family turns their back on you, it can’t get much worse than that, so don’t mess with me. **

4. Is a super sweet and beautiful woman. She is very classy and is one of the most sincere people you can meet. She often works with kids. She usually has 3 kids of her own the first born a daughter middle-boy youngest-girl. She has a beautiful shade of brown hair and the prettiest brown eyes you could ever see. Everybody that meets her adores her because you cant help but smile when you see the gorgeous face of hers:) Wow that girl is mighty fine.. She must be an Eva!

** Ok there are a few area’s that might not apply - I don’t have brown eyes for one, they are blue. I won’t even begin to tackle the other parts that don’t apply, people who know me well enough know what fits & doesn’t - it’s worth a laugh though. Nice to see that when I have kids their sexes have already been mapped out for me**

9. Eva- E.V.A -eating vagina allot, eats vagina allot , a person whose eats allot of vagina, or the act of eating vagina.
A female getting head

** Well, I didn’t know that one, gives a totally different spin on my name & it is that definition that will probably stick with me more than all the others. **

Wow, I have had a busy couple of days.

Tuesday I finally managed to get another brace for my right wrist exactly like the one that I currently have, for my left one. It’s actually really cool to have braces for both of my wrists. I had an all day job in Brisbane about a month ago, where I noticed that my right wrist started to go a little funny, so I pretty much worked out that I needed to get another one to try to protect it, a preventative measure, if you like.

Tonight was awesome though. Great to see that it improved, after I had, had a rather ordinary day. I went into see an organisation to fill in some employment paperwork (joys of being a freelance interpreter/ having your own business in essence), overheated & ended up vomiting in the middle of the interview. They were really good about it, but boy did I feel like crap - sometimes you have to hate wearing all black, spending the morning out in the sun, then later in a stuffy office - oh well, guess I can tick that off the list (not that I ever really had that one on my list to start with). Anyhow, I called a friend, Kristina, who is an interpreter on the Gold Coast to say Hi & she invited me to come over. We had a late lunch (round 2/ 2.30) & chatted etc, I ended up leaving her place at 11pm - I was a little shocked when I saw the time. But, what a great night!!!

Kristina showed me her corset that she bought from the new corset shop in Brisbane, which only opened a couple of months ago. She even let me try it on, even though it was a little too big for me (felt pretty snug to me), I have fallen in love with corsets. I always liked the idea of a corset & I like the whole period costume idea, which goes well with Geoff’s interest in Medieval things, so it’s not a huge surprise that I like corsets. I just have to get one for myself, although apparently they aren’t that cheap, a couple hundred dollars at least. The support that you get from one is AMAZING though. I wish that I had a photo of me when I was wearing it, but I don’t so bad luck eh? I haven’t decided what type I would like, you can get different patterned corsets or ones with or without a tongue at the back, I was thinking of black - might go really GOTH, I do like a bit of Goth, colour isn’t bad either, but I am a little bit Goth & apparently it is becoming more & more noticeable by others that I am that way.

I also did my first tarot reading for Kristina. It was a little nerve wracking, but apparently I did really well & am quite a quick learner. I was brought up to believe that the tarot cards were fairly evil & demonic, but really it’s just a case of working out what is happening in your life & looking at the similarities (which you can find in most things, if you look hard enough. Kristina has told me that every time I come over I can practice, which I think will be great, I might even have to get a deck of tarot cards. There are heaps of different ones to choose from, so might have to do some research to work out which type, which may take a while, but I reckon that it would be really good. Kristina also did a quick reading for me, which was lots of fun, it’s only the 2nd time I have had my cards read, the first time was by Sophie (Kristina’s daughter).

I have been clearing out my e-mail - ran out of disk space on my laptop, which I think is just a hint for me to get another one. I have already had to do a clean out several times already, so it’s getting harder & harder to find more space. I hate copying everything over to DVD’s, then you just have the task of hunting forever to find what you want.

Anyhow, over the coming days, I might just upload a few funnies here & there, just because… Here is the first one (Dated November 2007)

Arrest of a primary teacher

– A public school teacher was arrested today at Sydney International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Ruddock said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

“Al-gebra is a problem for us,” Ruddock said.  “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.

As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle’.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, John Howard said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes.”

Aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Prime Minister.

I am not sure if this is a true story or not, I found this story in today’s Gold Coast Bulletin (Tuesday 30th June, 2009 - page 13). I did a google search for the story & could only find a couple of blogs - so really I am just regurgitating OLD crap again, but hey, isn’t that what the web is about?

“* CALIFORNIA
FRIDGE BEAR
CALIFORNIA police say a bear with a sweet tooth broke into a house in San Bernardino County and ate a box of Chocolates.
Sheriff’s Sergeant Tom Alsky said a couple arrived home to find the bear in the kitchen & phoned for help.
The bear fled before police arrived.
Sgt Alsky said the animal appeared to have pushed aside vegetables in the couples fridge & gone straight for the kilo box of chocolate.
He says the bear also tried to open a bottle of champagne but was unsuccessful.”

Geoff introduced me to a game called Travian which is kinda cool, very SLOW, but cool - at least until I start to get pillaged. Both Geoff & I play on Server #2, on the Australian site.

It’s quite a good thing that the game is so slow, it allows you to do other things, whilst you are waiting for resources. Unlike other games, like The Sims, (which I also enjoy playing,) where you can waste hours playing non-stop, Travian works in such a way that you can’t really do more than a few minutes at a time - which is great. I can enjoy a few minutes of game time, in between working.

Saw something funny on the news today & just had to share. A 4yr old boy in Britain flushed his 1 week puppy down the toilet to clean him. The puppy was rescued and is ok now. To read more about it check out the following;

ABC - Yappy ending for puppy flushed down toilet
The Age - Puppy flushed down toilet video - which is copied from another broadcaster & better viewed on YouTube

YouTUBE - The Mirror News - Puppy Flushed down the toilet by 4 yr old boy
YouTUBE - Dymo footage & description of puppy rescue

The big bad wolf said to the three little pigs “I’ll huff and I’ll puff
and I’ll blow your house down!”

One of the little pigs responded “Piss off or we’ll sneeze on you.”

The late night news on Channel ten was interesting tonight, especially the sports news. One guy had his groin put on ice, another was put on ice completely, at least he didn’t have his groin ripped out and put on ice I guess… - damn I’m happy that I don’t play football!

This one has to be my favourite, thanks again Matt